A monster. A very, very tiny monster.

THE MYTH, THE WOMAN, THE LEGEND
Joan'a Sparks is the ultimate heroine and Saint of Roller Derby. She asserted that she had visions from the Goddess of Roller Derby which told her to skate over anyone who came across her path. Although she was burned alive, that was not the end of Sparks. Joined with the NJ Hellrazors, the team flames keep her fire burning. And so Joan'a Sparks lives for the fight to maintain New Jersey's victories and to battle any other teams that may come across her path.

Chickie Boom is a woman of contradictions. She loves baking cookies and blowing stuff up, the smell of puppy breath and that burning sulfur aroma, walking along the beach at sunset and imploding buildings at dawn, the sound of a baby's gleeful laughter and the sizzling of a fuse, finding the first flower to open in Spring and finding a cracked open pyrotechnics shell half a mile from where she loaded it. You get the idea. Just cover your ears if you know what's good for you.

Don't let her angelic smile fool you, cross her on the rink and she will seek great vengeance. Trained in the basement of the church rectory, the Sisters of Leave'm In Pieces - an underground society of Assassin Rollergirls - taught her by "habit" to smash and bash and show no mercy. So if you enter the rink against her, you better prepare for a Divine Wreckage.

The year was 1983. It was a night much like this very night, upon which Hits n' Giggles was born into a family of accomplished break-dancers. On her first birthday, it was her turn to try the worm for the very first time. Unfortunately, she wormed on a crack, breaking her mother's back, and was forced to leave home. She spent the next 24 years on the street, learning knock-knock jokes from a homeless guy behind the dumpster at Stuckey's. Fueled by her jokes and her checkered past, she turned to the rink to release a fury of revenge. So, opponents beware, if you hear the words "knock-knock" you better not answer with "who's there?" because the punch line will be you on your ass! (photo by Ryan Joseph photography)

On a recent leg of the Hot Dog Tour, NJ Hellrazors discovered their amazon blocker while stopping to change a flat tire in the parking lot of the abandoned wing of Greystone Park Psychiatric Hospital. Hearing faint mutterings, team members found her wandering among the rubble and asked her name and why she was there. Named Mental Block by her teammates due to her lack of identification and inability to produce any verbal information on her past, she was easily lured with a handful of cookies to the child lock protected back seat of the ASS Captain's car. Kept comfortable and tame with a constant supply of food, hair care products, Heavy Metal music, and free weights, the NJ Hellrazors are very afraid to remove any of the carefully devised components of this formula lest the vague threats of a straight jacket become a reality...

Elle Toro is a quiet librarian by day who loves the opportunity that derby gives her to knock people the hell down. Born in May, Toro is true to her astrological sign; stubborn, loyal, and quite calm and good natured until you make her angry. You mess with the bull you get the horns.

V-Rod has recently taken up working for the state collecting unemployment. She has a beautiful 20 year old daughter. Her love for Derby is so deep not even her hot gutiar playing Husband, his 3 kids, 2 dogs, a cat, a trantula, a guinna pig, and a fish could keep her away!